the morning of our wedding day

On the morning of our wedding day, I was a whirlwind of emotions. More emotions than I think I've ever really experienced. It was one of the biggest days and biggest commitments that I would partake in, in my entire life. The day I promised forever. Through sickness and health. That is one big commitment.

I knew of course I wanted to spend my life journey with Jeff. That wasn't a question. It was just all so surreal everything ending, and then starting a completing new life. The thought of leaving home, moving to a foreign town, and transitioning from college to "the real world". It was scary. I will be honest about that. I think leaving home was the hardest part for me. Actually, I know it was hardest part. I love my parents and getting to spend each day with this in the summer planner for the big day was beyond wonderful. Knowing that was ending just kind of really stunk.

However, I was so full of love and excitement to get to marry the man of my dreams. To start this whole new chapter in our lives and really depend on each other. I couldn't wait to move into our new home, start my new job, and figure out this whole real world thang people have talked about.  Like I said, whirlwind of emotions. 

The one thing I wanted my parents to know is that they weren't losing their daughter. I was almost terrified they thought that. And that scared me to death. I wanted them to know that nothing was really ever going to change. Just a slight change in name and a little further away.

I wish I would have written things down that down. To really remember exactly how I was feeling. However, the day goes by so entirely fast that there was no way that was happening. I wish it would have slowed down. I wish I could have really soaked it in more. But I feel like I did the best I could to really soak it in and enjoy each second. It was hard not to worry about everything "going as planned" but somehow, somehow (at least to my knowledge) it all did.

My aunts, family friends, and many others made our day absolutely perfect. They put their blood, sweat, and tears into our day. They didn't have to. They weren't asked to. They did. On that day and many days previous to that,  I had never felt so incredible blessed. There were many nights I would just well up in tears of gratefulness. My aunts. My parent's friends. Everyone was hand in hand working together for us. What a beautiful thing. I wish that I could repay them. Somehow. Somewhat. But I guess I will repay them by making someone else someday feel how they made and make me feel. Like I am special. And that I am so very loved.

Ah heck, this was only the beginning....