I know that in many cases people live together before they are married. I think that is great. I think there are different strokes for different folks. And honestly? I really don't think there is anything wrong with it. If you are planning to get married, that is. If not, I feel like that is just a recipe for a disaster and heartache. Only because I've seen it go that way I guess.
But for me, my choice was to keep that gift until we got married. And he agreed. As a Catholic, that is something I have firmly believed in, well...forever. I may not agree with everything, but that is one thing I definitely do. I wanted the first time I moved in with Jeff to be as his wife, sharing his last name. Funny that my initials will soon be MRS. BUT it really is something that I'm excited about and looking forward to. I know it's not for everyone, but it makes sense to me and my values (and ours).
It's crazy to believe that in less than three months our lives will totally change. I will be moving out of my parents house, and in with my husband. Whoa. Husband. That's just crazy! I can't lie, I have loved every second of living at home so far, but I know living with Jeff will be just as great. And of course we will always make time for our families, who we love more than life. They will always be a big part of us and our lives.
So anyway, what I really wanted to get across was that it is okay to wait, if that is your "thang". I just know many people don't accept the whole waiting game and think that you should try it out before getting married. Or the circumstances just work out better that way. And that is great! I know SO many people SO happy doing so (and I'm so dang happy for them). But it is also okay to wait. And we keep it old school around here, and have chosen that option.
(Once again this is our opinions and our life....not "the right way", just what we have chosen to do)
26 comments:
I think this is an awesome post! I feel the same way. I don't want to live with someone until I'm living with him as his wife. I've assumed I'm one of very few people that think this way, so it's good to see that I'm not alone.
I think that's great, Molly! I don't think anybody will judge you for your decision--it's your life and how you live it is up to you! Plus, won't it be even better once you get married and get to live together?! So much fun!
Love love this!
That's great girl! My husband and I didn't live together before we got married and I totally agree, I think it makes it more special to save it for after you're husband and wife. Enjoy these last few months of being engaged, but married life is definitely fantastic, you have a lot to look foward to! xoxo
I lived with my husband before we were married, but we were engaged. However, we had always spent time with each other and stayed with each other well before that.
I think it is great you are choosing to wait, cause you have to do what is best for you. You're right, there isn't a "right" way to do something. It is what you, the couple, decide what's right for you.
Living on your own is awesome and living with your husband is even more awesome. Those three months will go by so fast and be here before you know it!
I think this is wonderful and I've made the same decision as you :). I think some things are better off to wait until your married, but thats not to say I look down upon those who don't (because I don't). We all have different oppinions and that's OK!
I think that it is awesome that you choose to wait to live together. I have a friend who didnt have sex until the day she got married and I totally respect that decision. I agree with you it is a decision that is very personal and for anyone to judge you is just straight up wrong!
Go you!
I adore you. I lived with my husband LONNGGG before we were married and it's a decision I will always regret. I am a Christian and my husband and I were not walking a path that was conducive with our beliefs in God in what the Bible says about relationships before marriage. After we got married, while it was so amazing, we just went back to normal (except we got to have guilt free sex...haha...tmi, I know. sorry) and there wasn't that element of excitement that comes with moving in with your new spouse and creating a home together. But we also got pregnant twice before we married, sooooo thats a whole other story that we can talk about later and that I DO NOT think you should do. Ha! I am proud of you for making what is now a seemingly unpopular decision. Seems like everyone is shacking up and "playing house" these days. I know there are a lot of great marriages that started out living together beforehand, so no judgement at all. I've been happily married for almost 8 years and we did thing totally backwards. In the long run, I think you will be happy you that you decided to wait.
I love this post! My fiance and I have decided to do the same thing. It will make those first few nights together even sweeter :)
This is awesome! Not going to lie to you, I am jealous! I was the biggest EVER advocate for not living together until married! Even after John and I found out Bubba was on the way I was trying to figure out how I could just live with my parents until the wedding - haha! In the end it worked out fine, but I do think living together is such a special gift for marriage :)
Great choice! My husband and I were just talking about this the other day. We took the road your soon to be hubby and you did, but we've seen many others take the other route and some for convenience...even before they were engaged. I feel as though some people then fall in love with someone always being around, picking up after them, cooking, mowing the lawn, etc. It's almost like they are stuck once they move in because it's more of a hassle if you break up. The feeling of being married and walking into your first home and making it yours is a great feeling!
So cool. So so so cool. that's all :)
Everyone needs to do what keeps them connected to their own set of vales or guiding principles, and not sit in judgement of others who don't walk the same path. I am so happy for you and Jeff and so honored to be so connected to you both. You are an amazing young woman marrying a lovely man. You and Jeff are greeting quite a journey for yourselves! I can't wait fir the big day and to have a very special nephew-in-law!
I'm moving in with my boyfriend in August and just wanted to say I appreciate your ability and desire to express your choice without putting down other choices. :)
About 2 years ago I was dating someone and we had the talk about moving in together. I've previously lived with a bf and he was divorcing so he knew what it was like to live with a woman. I still wanted us to wait til we were married to take that step. Slow it down and go traditional together. So good for you! I think it's great.
Good for you for sticking to your morals and doing what you feel is right! It's hard to do in the world today with so much pressure to do things the other way! We bought our house a month before the wedding, but other than that we didn't live together prior to marriage!
Mike and I waited. It was really cool :) happy planning/waiting...because I'm sure you're done with all the big stuff by now! so exciting!!!!
I completely agree! I have been dating my boyfriend for 4 years and we won't live together until we are married. Right now I live with one of my best girlfriends from college -- we got the apartment in December and are having the best time. BUT, people act like it's weird that we live together. Around here (I live in phialdelphia),waiting until marriage to live together is NOT the norm!!
I think this is a great decision girl! and 3 months will be here quick!
I love that you posted this. These days living together seems to be the norm and I am glad people are still waiting. To me, it would have taken away the newness of being married and it would just have felt like any other day after your man & wife. I applaud y'all and think that is just wonderful!
Good for you girl ! My husband and I did the same thing actually ! I think it's a great thing and I am really happy we did it! My roommate was never home, so we ate dinner every night together and then spent time together for a few hours, then would go our separate ways. It was perfect to get a dose of what it was like. I really liked eating dinner with him every night. Good luck to you girl :)
Ironically, we had to live together for one month, 2 months before the wedding, but I was not about to make my fiance sub lease a place for a month, so we did that. But, I think the circumstances allowed it since that would reflect our budget and ultimately cose more money that we really didn't have.
MOLLY. i love this post. i commend you for going against what is "normal" today. i, too, have seen the negative effects that living together before marriage has. you go girl. sounds like you and Jeff are on the right track in a messed up world! :)
I love the honesty in this post :) As you know, M and I are living together pre-marriage, but that was something we both wanted. And I'm so glad that we are. As you say, everyone's different, and I totally respect that you want to wait and glad that you and Jeff came to the decision together! Can't believe it's only 3 months away!
I love this. It is so easy for people to forget their beliefs and just jump into things like living together. That is a MAJOR deal and you are amazing for making the decision to wait until you are married to share the same house. I think when people move in together before marriage (more specifically engagement) it can become difficult and when those difficulties hit they tend to say forget it and move out where as in a marriage you stay and fight for it because you are married. (make sense? It's kinda hard to put into words)
What I love about this post is that you were just saying it to share what you guys have decided to do. It wasn't reasons why everyone should it, just why it made sense for the two of you! Great post and wow 3 months! It's coming up pretty fast :)
Yes! I have the exact same belief. I'm catholic as well and it's always something I have felt super strong about. I've been w my boyfriend for over 5 years. I live at home and he lives w friends. Love your adorable blog!
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