Most of the time I post about all the good and awesome times that happen on a day to day basis as life as a newlywed and pretend "grown-up". I use grown up very loosely. It lifts me up to see those moments and relive them through this blog. Heck, this is even why I created it. So I could remember it all.
And all includes the ugly. The not so happy moments. Because that folks, is what makes me....me. The shits and giggles. All included in the Molly package.
So today I'm just going to say...I'm effing exhausted. Worn OUT. and I don't even have kids or a dog - holy cow how do y'all DO IT?!
Straight up feeling worthless. I feel like half the time teaching I don't even know if what I'm saying is staying in their minds. I feel like I can't fit anything into the day and somehow the day ends and I'm just frustrated at myself and wondering why I suck so much that I can't just get my plans done exactly ONE TIME.
I know I'm not the only one, but boy does it feel like it sometimes. Like a little lost Nemo at sea. Struggling to get...somewhere. I just fear that I will fail my kids. That is my biggest fear. I just want to be that one person who they say believed in them. Who shaped them. I am just so tired of working so hard to do the things that in the long run...just aren't as important.
Also? I come home dead. Straight up dead. I feel like a crappy wife who just lays around because I can't even barely keep my eyes open sometimes. This is my own fault. Only mine. But I hate the feeling. I thank the Lord for a patient and loving husband. Seriously.
Okay now I'm annoyed of my complaining self. But I'm human and I'm feeling like crapola at the moment. So here I am. At my (not so) finest. But this is real. And this is life.
This will probably get deleted but I needed a breather. I was tired of complaining so much to the same people. I know they are just as annoyed of it as I am of saying it myself.
18 comments:
We all need to vent, Molly, and sometimes it is just easier for us to do it through writing...which just so happens to be open for everyone to see. I think we all feel that way sometimes, but you will get through it. Keep on truckin!
I know what you mean! I seriously go to bed before 10 every night. Nothing gets done around the house on work nights besides cooking dinner. Usually the dishes stay in the sink over night.. I don't know what I'm going to do when we have kids too!
we are here for that;
we are here to help you get through those tough moments.
you help me get through mine; and i will help you get through yours.
dont worry about being "that great fantastic teacher that gets everything done" lets be real no one is. you are fantastic. you are amazing. and this is your first time teaching.. don't worry; dont fret you will get through it
You're normal. And, for the record, my blog sounds like a broken record these days anyway...so I'm forced to agree with you on the "Am I normal?" thing.
After 3 years, I feel like I'm not failing my students anymore, but I have no dog and no children of my own, and I'm STILL exhausted.
So I don't know how people do it either!
I'm going to be straight out honest with you -no sugar coating...you will always come home drained and exhausted. I've been teaching EIGHT years and I never come home not tired or worn out. Teaching is not only physically exhausting but mentally too. I have become that person who can't wait to slip on comfy clothes, unwind with a TV show or a book or blogging and then my day starts all over. That's part of the teaching package my dear!
YOU ARE making a difference and the fact that you are frustrated and second guessing yourself means you are a good teacher! You are paying attention trying to figure out what to try what can be tweaked and such. It will get better in time. I PROMISE!!!
We all need time to vent and life gets really stressful sometimes. I assure you that you are being a wonderful teacher because you truly care so much!! That's what a lot of kids need nowadays, and you seem like you are very thoughtful and considerate of them. You won't let them down. :)
I hope you feel better soon! <3
You are so totally normal! I can't even begin to tell you how many times I felt this way teaching, and I teach preschool! I can't even imagine what it's like to teach real, grown up kids! You should feel comfortable venting/ complaining on your blog. It's not totally your space, or an honest account of your life if you sensor yourself :) Everybody has off days/ weeks. You have a supportive and loving husband, and blog friends who care about you! Vent away sister! We all need a "woe is me" kinda day every now and then ;)
Trust me, I'm a new mom and I wonder how these moms are able to watch their child PLUS cook and clean all in one day?!
The exhaustion apparently comes within a month or two of joining the "real world" and I'm still waiting on it to end. The good news? There are times when it is worse than others, and thankfully, those times pass! I'm 27 years old and I swear we are in bed by 10 almost every single night. No kids either! Although I do have a big ol' energy-ful, impossible to wear out black lab.... :) Just keep holding out for the "less exhausting" days. They will come around!
My friend and I had a very similar conversation last night! She teaches 4th grade and feels just like you! She said someone told her, Don't Stress, Just Teach.. I think that was it :) I'm sure the kids adore you and you are helping them and they aer learning. We all go through this. I go to bed at 9-10pm and am even exhasuted when I wake up. I just want to lounge. I have zero energy sometimes and I am not around kids all day!
I love blogging because I can vent and you have people that are there to virtually hug you and lift you up! Hang in there! xoox
Totally know what you mean!! Husband and I have been married about two and half years, both work full time, and have long commutes, so we have very little time or energy outside of work. Sometimes I feel like such a crappy wife because when we get home we're SO TIRED, and don't do much besides watch TV and go to bed. Then on the weekends we spend all our time catching up on the things we didn't have time to do during the week. It sucks that this is life, but I guess for most of us, it is. We're all SO busy making a life that we barely have time to live it. You're not alone, and we all need a chance to vent- never apologize for being human! HUGS
Cheer up lovely girl! We all feel this way...including the part where we feel like we are the only one's feeling this way. :) When I get like that I make a list. Even if you accomplish ONE task it will make you feel LOADS better. Also...know that kids don't show you their appreciation simply because they are too busy being kids. But if you continue to smile and you enjoy your kids, odds are, they'll remember you always! I was a horse back riding instructor for 10 years and know about challenges! And to this day, even after being harder on some than others, they still think they were some of the best moments. Just be you!!!
http://acountry-galsdomesticjourney.blogspot.com/
stay strong girl! it's not going to be perfect the first time. you're new and you just gotta keep trying! if you ever need to vent i'm here! :)
http://milittarywife.blogspot.com/
Oh my word...Thank You!!! I am so glad to know someone else is feeling 100% exactly like I feel. Most days I don't feel like I have taught my kids a thing and then I come home and just want to lay on the couch because I am so tired. I feel like I'm failing as a teacher.
I truly think it is a first few years of teaching thing. Hang in there girl and know that there is someone who is 100% feeling just like you!
First of all, it is hard!!! By the time I get to Friday night I don't want to see, talk or be around anyone! I have been working a long time! Molly, there is a great utube click of a team flying a plane and building at the same time. That's exactly what you are doing! You are doing and learning how to do at the same time and you have 20 kids to ensure you are safely flying in your plane. OMG you should feel stressed! You will get through it; it will get easier; you will feel more confident! The first year is the hardest!
You've done all the most significant major life changes...married, movies to a new town, new job and bought a home! OMG, I don't know how it can be easy.
This stress will push you to work! It will push you to prioritize. You have trust you are right where you need to be.
Love you!
First of all, it is hard!!! By the time I get to Friday night I don't want to see, talk or be around anyone! I have been working a long time! Molly, there is a great utube click of a team flying a plane and building at the same time. That's exactly what you are doing! You are doing and learning how to do at the same time and you have 20 kids to ensure you are safely flying in your plane. OMG you should feel stressed! You will get through it; it will get easier; you will feel more confident! The first year is the hardest!
You've done all the most significant major life changes...married, movies to a new town, new job and bought a home! OMG, I don't know how it can be easy.
This stress will push you to work! It will push you to prioritize. You have trust you are right where you need to be.
Love you!
girl im so in the same boat. drained.
Girl it is ok to vent! I'm so glad you posted this. It's always good to know there's someone out there feeling the same way. And I'm feeling the same way! It's normal, you've been through a ton of huge life changes in the past few months, and things are bound to settle down. I promise!
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